'Tis dogs' delight to bark and bite
And little birds' to sing,
But if you sit on a red-hot brick,
It's a sign of an early Spring.

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Playing time about 6min.
The man himself performs!

A pirate goes into a dockside tavern. Innkeeper says" Haven't seen you for a while. You're looking a bit rough".
Pirate says"What do you mean? I'm fine".
"Well what about the wooden leg? You didn't have that last time you were here".
"Sea battle, you know. Cannonball took it right off. Got the carpenter to make a wooden leg. It's fine now".
"Well what about your hand? The hook?"
"Oh, that. Got into a sword fight. Got it cut clean off. The blacksmith made us a hook. It's fine now".
"Well, what about the eye patch?"
"Blinded" says the pirate lifting the the patch and showing an empty socket.
"Blimey, how'd that happen?"
"Well we were sailing along one day and a flock of seagulls flew overhead. I looked up and one of them pooped right in me eye".
"Don't be daft" says the innkeeper "a bird pooping in your eye can't blind you!"

"It was me first day with the hook".